YAGH one-shot: Crypt of the Cowboy Spider

On Saturday, I ran a Yet Another GLoGhack! one-shot for three players, two of whose characters were the best burglars on the planet, and yet they didn’t have a good thief among them. It was a blast, the system is really great, and here’s the adventure I ran for them, with some session report stuff sprinkled in. At the bottom I have attached a picture of the prep I’d done for the session, because seeing GM notes is nice. I also use the Monster AI stuff I’ve talked about before on some monsters here, so you can see how it sort of works. I hope this post is useful to someone.

SIMPLE YAGH! MONSTERS

Choose their LEVEL. Use it as their bonus to every roll/TARGET they’re actively good at, and a penalty to any roll/TARGET they’re actively bad at, and just use the flat dice/10 for anything they’re neutral towards. They should have health equal to five times their LEVEL. It takes a minimum of a LEVEL 3 creature with multi-attack capabilities to prove a real challenge to a LEVEL 1 party (in my very limited estimation), so you have permission to really go to town when assigning LEVELS.

INTRO: DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE KID NAPPING?

The party is approached by two poor farmers, Boris and Anir. Their daughter, Melody, was recently kidnapped by a woman named Anthelia de’Cloven, and taken to the de’Cloven family crypts. They remember seeing a strange necklace around Anthelia’s neck, a spider with some strange wide-brimmed hat on… They will give the characters their life savings, 100 silver shillings, if they can get Melody back safely.

(At the table, my shortsighted brain didn’t plan these NPCs, so they got names after the game had begun. Anir was Annie… damn heteronormative improvisation. They took the bait.)

THE DE’CLOVEN CRYPT

Built into a hill, this family crypt has recently seen foot traffic from 3 entities (Mork, Klarg, and Anthelia). The only dilapidated, ivy-choked door inwards leads into ROOM 1. The inside is marked by maggots and roots tumbling out the holes in the ancient masonry- bricks can easily be pulled free from the walls. (A fact my players exploited no less than 7 times.)

ROOM 1: MERCENARIES BY THE FOUNTAIN

In this room, a Goblin with low self-esteem named Mork (LEVEL 2) and a skeptical Orc named Karg (LEVEL 2) are playing cards. Klarg is slated to win when the heroes enter. The two are poorly-paid and not terribly bright mercenaries hired by Anthelia as guards. If too much noise happens, Anthelia comes to investigate. Against the far side of the room is a stagnant fountain, filled with…

1 Deceptively water-like acid

2 Scummy water, a de’Cloven ghost asks the heroes to get her necklace back

3 Flammable yet drinkable liquid

4 Healing potion

Passages lead away to ROOMS 2 and 3. The passage to ROOM 2 contains a pit trap that all inhabitants save Melody know about, so they hug the wall when passing by.

(I gave Mork a New York accent and Klarg a deep cockney. The party snuck in and one pretended to be a wizard, taking on Mork as an “apprentice”. They then used the flammable liquid in the fountain to light Klarg on fire while alive.)

ROOM 2: ANTHELIA’S ABODE

Piles of old de’Cloven bones lie scattered around this room. In the middle, a circle of runes bearing an eye motif surrounds a candle-laden lectern bearing Anthelia’s grimoire. The grimoire contains a Ritual of Communion with the Cowboy Spider (granting a Level in Spider for every sacrifice performed) and a scroll of...

1 Super Fucked Up Brain Hemorrhage

2 Bones to Paste

3 Doorway to Hell

        4 Diminution (irreversible shrinking to mouse size)

Anyone crossing the rune circle is blasted backwards unless they close their eyes or look away as they pass into the circle. Anthelia (LEVEL 4) is here at the start of the adventure, reading her grimoire. Each round, she…

1-2 Fires a bolt of eldritch lightning (d10) at the nearest character

3 Emits an Arcane Scream (MND or d8) to hurt all close to her

4 Attempts to flee as quickly as possible

5-6 Revives the nearest corpse into a Zombie (LEVEL 1)

Corridors in the room lead back to ROOM 1, which still has the pit trap in the hall, and ROOM 4.

(They barely went through this room, and no one bit at the Ritual of Communion. Gotta try harder next time!)

ROOM 3: THE COFFIN CENTRIFUGE

This room is composed of a small ledge (about 4-5 inches wide) around a ten-foot pit, the bottom of which is packed dirt instead of crumbling masonry. On the opposite side from the entrance is a stone “door” with a green devil face, mouth agape, on it. This is actually just a piece of stone set into the wall- reach into the devil’s mouth and there’s a switch that opens the secret door right next to the “door”, leading to ROOM 4.

When someone hits the dirt, ancient machinery starts to rumble, and the entire floor of the room (including the ledge, but not the walls above the ledge) begins to rotate faster and faster, like a centrifuge. Each round, the TARGET of all checks increases by the number of rounds the centrifuge has been active (i.e. round 1: TN 11, round 2: TN 12, ect.). If the centrifuge can be stopped, a difficult task as all the machinery is hidden, this effect ends.

Finally, and perhaps most fiendishly, the walls of the pit are made of large 10-foot stone panels with carvings of people in repose, presumably old de’Clovens. They are not secure, and if they are pulled out of the way, perhaps as an attempt to climb out of the pit, they fall away, and d4 Skeletons (LEVEL 1) emerge. One of the skeletons, at random, carries a random Spell Scroll. Roll on the Anthelia’s grimoire table to determine what it is.

(When I ran this, I forgot it was a centrifuge! Silly me… could have really ruined the hero's days with that one. Well, not gonna lose too much sleep over it.)

ROOM 4: SANCTUM OF THE COWBOY SPIDER

This large natural chamber is dominated by a titanic jet black-and-red arachnid, a chitinous structure atop its head resembling a cowboy hat (LEVEL 5). Piles of rusty and dusty loot lies about for the taking, to DM discretion. In front of it is a sacrificial altar, upon which is tied a terrified Melody. Passages lead away to ROOM 2 and ROOM 3. The spider is currently in a state of slumber. If it wakes up, every round, it…

1-2 Six-shooters

3 Poison bite

4 Web

5-6 Chow down! Say goodbye to whatever’s on the altar.

(The heroes substituted Mork for Melody in a deal with Anthelia. Then they ambushed Anthelia and left without disturbing the spider.)

*notes incoming here*

Thanks for reading, and happy gaming.

GILHELM'S RUN, a proto-adventure

 Wasn't sure what to do with this adventure I had sitting around. I wasn't feeling motivated enough to stat it up for any particular system, but it's too specific to be truly generic... if you can use it, use it, I guess! Thanks for reading, and happy gaming.

GILHELM’S RUN

Brandish Gilhelm, proprietor of the Bergman Yards, finds himself against a wall when the Tollsgate Guard break into his bar and accuse him of high treason. The heroes must leap to action to save Gilhelm, the Bergman Yards, and the valuable information in Gilhelm’s precious scroll case...

CHARACTER CREATION

Create characters as normal. After you´re done, answer the following two questions, or roll on the tables below for a random answer:

• How do you know Brandish Gilhelm?

1 You served together in the Sylbarran Navy

2 He gave you a loan when you needed to get on your feet

3 You’re the bane of the Bergman Yards when you get drunk, which is often

4 He's a childhood friend

5 You escort the ale and food shipments he gets from Deragonna

6 You're secretly a member of the Five Hands too

• What is a secret of his?

1 He´s a member of the Five Hands sect in Tollsgate

2 The ale he sells is watered-down, not authentic Dwarvish as he claims

3 He has a husband… and a girlfriend

4 He framed Alfonso Glass for a misdemeanor he committed

5 He’s in an experimental band called Viking Death Squad

6 He wants to retire and be an artist full-time, not run a bar

BRANDISH GILHELM

Brandish Gilhelm, a veteran of the Sylbarran Navy, is a kindly old barkeep, known for his tendency to sing as he serves the patrons. However, he lives a double life- he is an agent of the Five Hands in Tollsgate. Within the Five Hands, he wields a lot of authority, but this is not without its share of responsibility. He has been entrusted with a scroll case, the contents of which he will not disclose. He knows that a crooked guard named Alfonso Glass is after it, and will do anything to keep it out of his clutches.

WHAT'S IN IT?

1 Love letters between the Dragon Queen and her mate

2 Notes on the Blue Diamond

3 Maps of the Underdark below the Vipernoss

4 A contract outlining an illegal deal

5 Schematics for a new weapon

6 A ledger with information about the members of the Five Hands

ALFONSO GLASS

Alfonso Glass is a Smallfolk Captain of the Watch among the Tollsgate Guard. However, he has a secret: he erased his memory-suppression rune. Now he works as a freelance agent, using the Tollsgate Guard at the directive of the highest bidder. He’s currently hunting down the contents of Gilhelm’s scroll case, and the fact that Gilhelm’s a Five Hands agent only makes his job easier to explain.

WHO HIRED ALFONSO?

1 Alfonso is acting on his own interests

2 The Dragon Queen

3 Mistress Selbernacht

4 One of Tollsgate’s Smallfolk crime families

THE BERGMAN YARDS

The Bergman Yards is among the most happening locales in Tollsgate. Above the front door, the hull of a pirate ship sticks out of the brick facade, a cobwebbed and pirate-garbed skeleton named Barry frozen eternally in the hoisting of a rainwater-filled mug. Inside, warmth and merriment abound as workers frantically cater to the ‘round-the-clock rush. Warm ale gushes forth from taps on the ceilings, allowing a merry rain of alcohol anywhere on the floor on demand. The heroes are all nursing a pint and chatting with Brandish when there comes an abrasive knock on the door…

ENCOUNTER I: SHOOTOUT AT THE SALOON

• Alfonso Glass and 3 Tollsgate Guards began to break into the Bergman Yards

• d4 more Tollsgate Guards arrive every ROUND

• Gilhelm tells all the patrons to invert the tables and get behind them

• The patrons can be asked to do anything not life-threatening

• The Guards will not aim at any civilians; the target is exclusively Gilhelm and any heroes that seem to associate with him

• The furniture and amenities can be used in any creative way imaginable

• In d4 ROUNDS, Gilhelm will suggest a hasty retreat to the basement

ENCOUNTER II: COLD STORAGE

• Wine and ale are stored in barrels along these long, winding stacks

• The room is kept at a constant chill to ensure freshness

• All combatants take 1 FATIGUE every ROUND from the cold

• Spaced FAR from each other and each exit are a series of traps Gilhelm instituted in case of an emergency

• Close: a crushing block (2 WOUNDS) falls when a tripwire is released

• Mid: a pressure plate dislodges a shelf, making barrels roll a la Donkey Kong

• Far: a jet of flame (3 WOUNDS) scorches every other ROUND

• Alfonso sends in 4 Guards in 1 ROUND, then will himself arrive d4 ROUNDS later after the civilians have evacuated the tavern

• Once Gilhelm gets to the door on the far side, he can unlock the various sealant mechanisms in d4 ROUNDS

• If he were to die during this time, he undoes the lock immediately

• He then hands the closest hero the scroll case...

• 
  
  
  
  
  ...and whispers “find the Five Hands, they’ll help you” with his last breath

ENCOUNTER III: SEWERS

The stairs on the other side of the cellar lead down into the sewers below Tollsgate. The heroes have to evade the guards and make their way to the Five Hands stronghold, with or without Gilhelm in tow.

Every TURN the characters spend moving through the sewers, roll to see what they encounter. By default, the PCs have 3 encounters to contend with before they manage to locate the stronghold, though use your discretion to add or subtract from this number.

SEWER ENCOUNTERS

1 Guards: Glass and 2d4 Tollsgate Guards catch up to the party

2 Were-rats: 2d6 massive half-rodent creatures cavort in the dark, hungering for flesh

3 Scrappers: 3 bandits with rusted supplies and empty syringes stage a hold-up

4 Bridge: a crumbling walkway spans a trickle of sewer sludge, roll again on this table

5 Fork: the path branches; roll 2 times, each roll is an option along the path

6 Lost: roll 2 more times total as the sewer twists back on itself

ENCOUNTER IV: THE RESISTANCE

• A ladder from the sewer leads up to this abandoned warehouse

• This is the base of operations of the Five Hands in Tollsgate

• The Five Hands sect is led by Natalia Rotlip

• She’s a no-nonsense Smallfolk woman named for a large, hereditary mole over her lip

• There are 6 other Five Hands members in the warehouse

• The warehouse is filled with scrap wood, tools, and a small cache of explosives

• Glass and a veritable army of Tollsgate Guards will surround the warehouse in 3 TURNS

• This is the final hour of the Five Hands

• If Glass gets into the warehouse, the rebellion will be scattered beyond organization, and the scroll case will be in jeopardy!

CONCLUDING THE ADVENTURE

There are as many ways to end this adventure as there are tables, but here are a few broad categories to use as jumping-off points.

• The Base Held. The Five Hands stands triumphant, the scroll case in hand. However, in all likelihood, Glass and the wider city is now aware of a Five Hand presence, very much illegal under Sylbarran rule. The Five Hands will need to make a getaway… enter a Smallfolk crime family, willing to smuggle them out at a steep price.

• A Narrow Salvation. The heroes have the scroll case, but perhaps at the cost of Brandish’s life, or the security of the Five Hands sect. With Glass hot on their tail, they’ll have to figure out what to do with the contents of the case, and who to trust.

All Is Lost. Glass has a hold of the scroll case. The heroes, in kahoots with the Five Hands, have to get it back fast, before he gets it to his client or uses it for himself. A tense heist mission on the clock, for all the marbles!

Base Under Siege

 I'm slowly warming up to that new-fangled Mandolorian TV show. I just finished the… I think 4th episode? The eponymous character is in the fishing village under attack by bandits with an AT-ST, that one. Anyways, that inspired me to write up some tables to generate an interesting “base under siege” adventure. Have fun, and happy gaming.

BASE SIZE (feel free to round)

1 2d8 people

2 1d20+10 people

3 1d10+40 people

4 2d100 people

5 1d100 x 10 people

6 The base is the size of a city

ENEMY SIZE

1 Solitary (perhaps the most frightening of them all)

2 2d4

3 2d10

4 d10 x 10

5 The enemy is an army

6 Roll twice, these are different enemy forces (this can stack)

BASE VALUE

1 Scientific [Something important is being studied]

1 The behavior of a nearby astrological or cosmological body

2 The physiology of some remarkable creature

3 The properties of an ancient artifact

4 The relics of a bygone civilization

2 Agricultural [A vital food product is being produced]

1 The food stores for a massive area

2 The key ingredient in a valuable drug

3 A a cyclical ranch-slaughterhouse system

4 It’s actually people… peeeeeople

3 Military [A large cache of weapons and soldiers]

1 The last outpost of an anti-imperial rebellion

2 A weapon stores for a powerful military company

3 A cobbled-together mercenary base

4 An experimental weapon-testing range

4 Defense [The base is protecting something important]

1 The last of a particular species

2 A source of a rare good or lots of income

3 Some volatile and strange anomaly

1 An artifact

2 A ripped ley line

3 A temporal distortion

4 A strange new type of creature

4 A tactically or scientifically significant location

5 An anthropologically significant site

6 A portal or passage

5 Production [Something vital is being manufactured or collected here]

1 A Shatterstar mine carving into a fallen meteor

2 A weaponsmithy or munitions factory

3 A craftperson's guild or factory

4 A library collecting very specific knowledge

6 Population [There’s a lot of civilians here]

ASSET (Roll once for both base and enemy)

1 Weapon

1 Heat-seeking

2 Metal-sundering

3 Wide area

4 Instant death

5 Intelligent

6 Structure-killer

7 Virulent

8 Elemental

2 Trap

1 Pit trap

2 Meddlesome terrain

3 Hidden siege weapons

4 High walls

5 Force field

6 Magic glyphs (activate on contact)

3 Spy

1 Animal compatriots

2 Mole

3 Scrying/surveillance

4 Capable of hypnosis

4 Ally

1 Monstrous protectorate

2 Powerful mage/engineer

3 Charismatic politician

4 The real native residents

5 Movement

1 Flight

2 Climb

3 Jump

4 Burrow

6 Something truly weird

LIMITATION (Roll once for both base and enemy)

1 Poor vision

1 Only capable of detecting movement

2 Cannot see color

3 Can only perceive one target at a time

4 Can only see thermal signatures

5 Can’t see FAR or farther

6 Can’t see any farther than NEAR

2 Poor weapons

1 Easily broken

2 Only melee

3 Only ranged

4 Have a habit of exploding

3 Poor mobility

1 Moves half speed

2 Cannot jump, fly, or go vertically

3 Takes a ROUND to change direction

4 Easily tripped or knocked over

4 Poor stealth

1 Brightly colored

2 Large

3 Noisy

4 Constantly emits…

1 Smoke

2 Sparks

3 The ice cream truck jingle

4 Lights and lasers

5 Poor skill (cannot add bonuses to non-attack rolls)

6 Poor adaptation

7 Poor communication

1 Only communicates through visual signals

2 Only communicates through touch

3 Speaks different languages

4 Missing key vocabulary words

8 Uncreative

RUNNING A BASE UNDER SIEGE

Advice. Each bullet has two points that run counter to each other, yet both sound. Read them, and choose what feels right to you. Play to your strengths.

• Give the players a strong motivation to help the base. Be it money, reward, or an emotional hook, you want your players to buy into the base as fast as possible so you can get to the fun stuff. Use every dirty trick you can to get the players invested. // Distance the players. The players might wander in the side of the invaders. They might have to choose between a monetary reward or a moral high ground. They might decide the residents of the base aren’t worth saving, and want to cut their losses and run. Paint in shades of grey, and let the players’ minds wander outside of the genre.

• Lay your cards out onto the table. Reveal all the variables ASAP, in simple terms. The barracks has the laser crossbow, while the reavers at the gate can summon their Hellfire Dragon at a moment’s notice, and carry atlatls, there’s a medbay and a stocked pantry, now go forth and figure it out. // Have a trick up your sleeve. Surprise the players with a new variable or two and watch their plans get rearranged. Get the panic going as a couple well-placed reveals can shatter the hero’s ideas of what’s about to go down.

• Add twists and reversals. Keep the players on their toes by throwing a wrench into the mix every so often. A new force shows up, the enemies cleverly overcome traps laid, the mole reveals themself. Don’t let them rest on their laurels, they should be on their toes throughout the siege. // Keep it embellishable. The PCs will already bring a lot of creativity and dynamism to the mix, and often their actions alone will provide enough variables that you can take your hands off the buttons. Push the marble, but just watch it travel down the course once it’s moving- don’t change the boundary conditions.

• Make choices matter. The player’s actions should make or break the siege. The base shall fall or remain standing by their hand and theirs alone. Agency is key in every adventure, but especially here. // Embrace inevitability. How will the players face down an army when they’re backed up by a 4-strong team of academics with a rusty golem and a psychic sword made of crystal? The sheer absurdity and hopelessness has great potential to spawn novel reactions and emotions, and generate stories told for ages.

I'm gonna write up an adventure using this generator soon, look out for that in a future post. Until then, happy gaming, and thanks for reading.