GLoGtober, day 3: gBoLinn spellz !!

 On the third day of GLoGtober, the bloggers gave to me…

           Three gretchling wretches

           Two drops of crimson

And some gun rules for you and me

D12 gOBLiN sPELLz:

1. gUn tHe gobLin shoootz an aRrrow and says ‘pEw” an it goes bOom (This one actually works. “Peu” happens to be a rune of combustion, and could cause arrows to explode upon striking, imitating the effects of a gun.)

2.  sHiT ctaplu cAtupelt materiul cOmnpoetz: freSh sHit in youR hand. thRow reeeeel gud (This one is just goblins throwing shit. They’re quite good at it, though!)

3 phLegm neTt eat a sNotshroom, denn cloAs your i’s aN sPit reel gud (While not technically a spell, snotshrooms (Boleus Muco Involuta) work to make mucus extra sticky, and makes it expand on air, thus producing the world’s grossest net.)

D) BEEEZ !!! brEk a huneyPOt an close ur eArz an say “beez beez un too frEe i broak yer food so leev me bee” but den they wOn leave yuo bee (Strangely enough, a real spell anyone can use.)

6) entRayu intrai enrtool gUtz laSso tiE da majYk not aN tHroww (The “magic knot” is a non-euclidean trapping mechanism that still baffles spatial wizards. This lasso is uncannily effective, though easily ripped, given it’s made of animal intestine.)

7) maEk hOt spiikz thRow da b a gg oF spikeZ and LiTe a matCh, thEn bLow it ouT wif yOur noAs (A strange little ritual that does actually cause thrown caltrops to heat to red-hot states.)

8.) UnMatfh coUnt mNay thingzZ an itl be a dFirent nbumDner of tiNgs (Goblins are so bad at math it warps reality. If a goblin tries to count, the number of objects changes upon every counting. No other species can learn this spell, so if you need to use it, coerce a goblin to count for you. This is notoriously difficult.)

9 feengrnaiLs cHoow a coW fniGrnl wheil u poiNt adn thAt feengR wlil gRow laNg (An actual spell. Once magical scholars find out how to cultivate cow fingernails, this spell will go into circulation.)

10- wArchARge !!! iT maEks us sQuiSHy bUt it doN’t woRk on dEm ye t (Any goblin involved in the magical charge has their maximum hit points halved. So far, they haven’t gotten it to work on an enemy. Perhaps they need more experimentation.)

111 reaeD uNgoBBLisH (A goblin mage once mutated the read languages spell so that everything was readable goblin-style. Terribly useful for goblins, not so much for anyone else.)

12.x THE APOCALYPTIC MOON CRASH OF ORDRION THE MAD. we stoaL dis won  froM a whizaRdd. Ddunno how iT werkz, tOo many worDz, but LoOks s hinY (They do not lie. Heaven help us all if they learn how to read it.... they’ve already got half a sentence down!)

I had a stroke typing that, much less reading it back, so that’s all you get. Obligatory goblins for my upcoming Rime of the Frostmaiden game:

THE KARKOLOHK CLAN

Constantly falling apart and in need of repair, this crumbling “castle” sits on a cliff overlooking a major trade route, perfect for aerial ambush and raids. Stocked with basic yet dwindling supplies and reeking to high heaven, this sewage-choked barracks is home to dozens of goblinoid bandits, augmented occasionally by other cutthroats who proved their worth.

The goblins seek to occupy the nearest city, but they’re not yet well enough supplied or organized to do so, and the new Large And In Charge is hesitant to make any sort of decisive motion. Snubsuk the Coward is quietly fermenting a hostile takeover, growing impatient and seeking decisive action, even pining for a full-on raid within a tenday. However, his plans are as hair-brained as his pet worg Tinkertoolz, and anybody who knows the lay of the land will know that this is a suicide mission.

Yarb-Gnock leads the Karkolohk clan. He’s a foriegn and strange goblin who seems to have command over magics to rival even the Mad Mother Manafek, the clan shaman. This is because he is a scared and confused gnome clad in a mask, a survivor of a caravan attack. He seeks to destroy the camp from the inside, sell the surviving goblins into gnomish slavery, and other quite malicious things.

The fun of the adventure arises when the PCs realize that they have to stop not only the raiding, but Yarb-Gnock AND Snubsuk too, to make sure the clan survives but isn’t causing problems. Or they could rip the castle a new one with the lamp oil stores and run. Either way, a lot of fun for the PCs, and a lot of panicked improv from the DM.

Day three! Let’s keep going strong, we’re practically a tenth of the way through already! That wasn’t so hard, was it? Let’s keep it going!

GLoGtober Day 2: the Blood Bank

 On the first day of GLoGtober, the bloggers gave to me…

           Two drops of crimson

And some gun rules for you and me

Most blood banks are only banks in name. They are exchange houses, drawing crimson from your veins in exchange for gold to line your pockets. However, there is one institution that is truly a blood bank, a bank to say that you get back what you deposit with interest. This is the Sanguine Exchequer. Vastly popular, especially to bloated nobility who seek to make money and slim down and those afflicted by wasting diseases or blood-plagues, this organization is often pushed to the fringes of society or even into the criminal markets due to a bad reputation, despite it being a (relatively) safe and clinical affair.

The Exchequer acquires and transfuses blood using surprisingly similar methods to the ones we currently use today in the real world, even including the bland cookie. In cases of massive doses taken at once, the Exchequer uses a drug colloquially known as Bloatsbeer. Bloatsbeer increases clotting so as to allow as little blood to escape the body as possible, making the imbiber virtually invulnerable to conventional weapon attacks. However, this causes intense nausea, drowsiness, lowered cognitive ability, migraines, blurred vision, and a whole host of other impairments. (MARROW drug rules: Immune to conventional weapon attacks, but DISADVANTAGE on all rolls.) The Exchequer occasionally sells doses of Bloatsbeer to other parties, but it takes personal negotiation with a higher-up.

The donor always expects the blood to be returned to them, naturally. That is the main draw of the Exchequer over a more conventional organization. So how do the receivers get their blood back? This is through the deployment of clockwork constructs known as “Bloodseekers”. Bloodseekers are brass, with humanoid faces that fall squarely in the uncanny valley. Their fingers end in impossibly sharp glass needles, and their barrel-like torso is composed of tall glass tubes, some of which are filled with blood. Their role is to take blood from the original receiver and return it, unerringly, to its owner, with proper interest. What this means and entails is up to the creative and malevolent DM.

The Sanguine Exchequer is not run by vampires, as many believe. After all, where does the bank fee go, if not to blood-hungry undead? Instead, the SE is run by the Claret Collective. The Claret Collective worship blood, in a very literal sense. They drink it in semi-religious ritual, bathe in it, inject themselves with it, experiment on it, and do all number of other strange procedures on or with the blood they shave off the top. What their goals and motivations are is unknown to any but the innermost circle of the Collective, but it can’t possibly be all benevolent…

The Sanguine Exchequer, a new faction/business with plenty of hooks for adventure inbuilt! I can easily imagine a mystery adventure with the Exchequer at its center. Who knows, perhaps I’ll write that adventure sometime on down the line…

Thanks for reading, and happy GLoGtober! Day 2 going strong, I’m glad to see so much participation.

GLoGtober Day 1: Shooty Shooties

 On the first day of GLoGtober, the bloggers gave to me…

Some gun rules for you and me

There’s a sense of playful glee you get from inspiring terrified awe in medieval peasants by using anachronistic technology, be it a flintlock, AK, or even a laser pistol. The theme for the first day of GLoGtober is “guns”, so here are rules for pew pews.

Gun damage explodes. Don’t use the tables in the back- a smaller gun deals a d6, a medium gun uses a d8, a large gun uses a d10, and the truly remarkable guns like laser pistols and machine guns use 2d6. (MARROW revision: Guns dead 1d4+(Slots occupied - 2) damage, no exploding the die.) If you roll a 1 while using a gun, roll on the Gun Misfire table below:

1 Kaboom. Roll damage as normal. You take that much.

2 Jammed. Make 3 successful INT rolls with tinker’s/gunsmith’s tools to repair. Until then, the gun is unusable.

3 Out of Ammo. Spend 20g and a long rest doing nothing else (gaining no benefits) to make sufficient ammo to keep using the gun unhindered.

4 Catastrophic Miss. The attack hits the nearest ally to you.

5 Preemptive Ignition. The gun bursts into flame. Not only is it now a useless hunk of scrap metal, i has started a fire right in front of you that is swiftly spreading.

6 Packed the Wrong One! The gun was actually a decoy! It actually fires (and will continue to fire):

1 water

2 rat piss

3 apple juice

4 ball bearings

5 very tiny nets

6 verses of scripture, in fortune-cookie format

7 healing needles

8 gasoline...

7 Smoke Signal. The gun starts pouring out smoke. Roll a random encounter. It will arrive in d4 rounds.

8 Blast so loud it wakes the dead. Roll damage. That many skeletons rise from the earth, hostile to all living things they can see.

GUNSMITH

Gunsmith SKILLS: Pew pew! Kabloosh! Nyoooom, pow!

A You don’t actually have a gun, it’s a vaguely gun-shaped stick. The stick is unbreakable. You perceive it as an unbreakable gun that without fail seems to miss.

B Somehow, against all odds, the stick actually functions exactly like a gun.

C You are very good at shooting with the stick. You can shoot it twice in an action.

D You can share your powerful imagination. Once a day, imagine something, and it is there until you imagine something else. In addition, any stick you touch you can make into a gun.

LOOT: Totally A Gun, Like, A Really Good Gun (Like One With A Scope And Bullets And Everything)

Guns aren’t my area of expertise, so I’m excited to see everyone else’s take on guns and revise my rules appropriately! Happy GLoGtober, here’s to 30 more days of fun content.

The Lover Saints, or, when the City went mad

 They met in the shadow of the night, passionately embracing under the flickering electric lights of the Tower District. She was a woman of nobility, married by circumstance to an odious, corpulent fellow who thought of her much the same way he thought of his left shoe. He was, naturally, a penniless street-caller, counting ha'copper scraps won from message deliveries and rumors he overheard in the darkest of allies. They asked Jehu for the night to cloak them, and so Jehu did, for a time.

    But the corpulent noble grew suspicious of his wife's nightly nights on the town. How many balls can she attend, how many trips to the market can she take, how often must she meet with her tailor about that new dress, how long goes she intend to evade him and his needs? He grow wrathful, and hired a man known as Slim Jack, with fingers like knives and a smile that curdled milk, to follow her through the night. Slim Jack writhed across the cobbles like a snake, tailing her unerringly through Jehu's streets. When the spy finally stumbled upon her meeting place, he was shocked to find his quarry in the arms of a penniless rumormonger. Like an eel, he slithered back to his master, reporting of the depravity he saw.

    The noble stroked his many chins and happened upon a devious plan. On his own, he was simply a filthy rich bastard, but the Church was one of the largest organizations in the City. If he could appeal to them, he could get a massive rally against the two. He wanted them to suffer, so he called upon a friend of a friend of a friend to summon the Cardinal of Jehu. He told the cardinal of his wife's sin with the pauper, and the cardinal, shocked to hear of such vile and flagrant adultery, began to froth the City itself into a mob. Across the Districts, torches were lit and weapons were grabbed, whispers of purging sin echoing across the brick tenements. 

    They ran as they met, in each other's arms. No matter how many corners they dove into, no matter how many shops they ducked behind, no matter how hard they tried to shake their pursuers, there were more every turn, always led by the cardinal, spouting forth war-chants in Jehu's name. They wound their way through the streets, across bridges, under overpasses, and through winding and ever-narrower passages undisturbed in years by any save rats. It was never enough.

    They collapsed, breathless and exhausted, onto the steps of the Basilica of Jehu. The cardinal and the mob slowly surrounded them, the heat from their torches rippling the air. The scent of sweat and war mixed in the air. As the cardinal stepped forth to issue their execution statement, the pair made one last prayer to Jehu, asking to be reunited on the other side, and kissed as the Basilica went up in flames.

    The marble of the Basilica is scorched grey now, an eternal monument to their suffering. Their names are lost, whispered in the dark as the Lover Saints- those who pursue amorous intent in the dark of night pray to them so their secrets never see the light. Some say the streets of the City warped themselves into the shape of a man and woman, hands entwined at steps of the Basilica...

Image source (originally from the OSR Discord's brain fuel thread): https://www.thisiscolossal.com/2019/11/impossible-cityscapes-by-benjamin-sack/

    A short piece of fiction concerning my entry to the Charcuterie Board submission that you'll be seeing soon, the City. I hope you enjoyed, please tell me if you like the flash fiction or want me to go back to more traditional game content! Thanks, and happy gaming.

GLoGtober!

    GLoG challenge! Write 31 small, GLoG-related things over the course of October. Or not even GLoG-related, if you’re running a BFRPG campaign and need a new monster and it’s the 22nd you can do a post on how you design monsters, or if you need a new Troika! background on the 11th you can write about the Slug Astronauts of Zzan. You can even do multiple days at once- I plan on chunking about 5 days at a time into one post. Just a fun little series of prompts to help keep GLoG, and the spirit of community, going. At the end of the month, you can make a post linking to all your GLoGtober posts, and I’ll make a post here to collect all the entries. I might even make them into a PDF or something.

Have fun, and happy gaming.

1 Guns

2 Blood

3 Goblins

4 Swirling rainbow vortices

5 Map

6 Food

7 Adventure

8 Mystery

9 Region

10 Mechanic

11 Space

12 Armor

13 Tribe

14 Table

15 Orb

16 Country

17 Bird

18 Biome

19 Quirky Magic Item

20 Dice

21 Artifact

22 GM tip

23 Hell

24 Disease

25 Myth

26 City

27 Villains

28 Orb, again

29 Gods

30 Crime

31 Candy

My House Rules for Rime of the Frostmaiden

    WotC has stolen my imagination, and my money. I will be running a bastardized hexcrawl lore-smeared version of Rime of the Frostmaiden soon, starting off with my version of the Koden Crypt. I'll be sure to have campaign reports up when it happens, as well as some glimpses into my campaign prep and how I reworked the lore to fit my odd vision. Below is the home rules doc I'm giving my PCs. Tell me what you think! Would you use any of these in your own games? Would you tweak any of these? What do you think of Rime of the Frostmaiden, and how would you run it?

CAMPAIGN PREMISE

   A small, huddled camp of grim-faced expeditioneers turn their frostbitten heads farther north. The icy expanse of the Karzan Empire, a declining dwarvish hold in the bitterly frigid north, meets their gaze with the intensity of nature’s fury. Somewhere out there is the Temple you must pay pilgrimage to. Will you brave the cold, and the things that lurk behind the ice?

When making your character, please answer the following question. “Why am I making this pilgrimage? What do I seek at the Temple?” If that’s too broad for your tastes, try “What did the winter take from me, or what am I afraid it will take?” Please ask me if you have any other questions about the world, but I’m more than happy to work with you to make something new.

STAT GENERATION

4d6 drop the lowest IN ORDER (STR, then DEX, then CON...). Then you can switch two, if you so desire. If your total bonus is less than +1, reroll.

CHARACTER OPTIONS

You can use any published ancestry or subclass option. You can use any class, save Artificer- I don’t like how it works in 5e, so if you want to make an Artificer, talk to me and we can work something out.

In addition, you can bring homebrew classes and subclasses to me, though don’t expect me to automatically say yes. No homebrew ancestries, please. In addition, you can take the Warrior class from DCC (a simplified, more flexible fighter) if you would like.

If you ever find yourself making decisions from a mechanical standpoint and not a character standpoint (i.e. maximizing damage output/AC), please step back and reconsider. I have random tables handy if you want to escape the min-maxing mindset, or if you need a burst of inspiration.

EQUIPMENT

Silver standard. Silver essentially replaces gold in this world. Any starting gold you get, you instead have the equivalent in silver, and prices are knocked down a coin type. One silver shilling is enough to buy one torch or two mugs of cheap ale. Also, electrum isn't a thing.

If you roll a 1 while using equipment, it breaks and becomes unusable. If you’re using a magic item, it instead breaks on a 1 on a d6.

Each character has a number of inventory slots equal to their STR score. If you carry more than that, you’re encumbered. Large things, like heavy weapons and massive objects, can occupy multiple slots.

Count torches. Don’t count ammo or rations. You can expend a HEX of supply to have a day’s worth of rations (if necessary) or a torch, perhaps more useful items with more HEXES of expense. The party starts with Haggard supplies. A bundle of supplies takes up 1 slot.

SPELLCASTING

This rule replaces the entire current spell system. No more spell lists, no more slots, no more preparing, instead increased flexibility and choice at the cost of more chaos.

You know a number of Spells equal to your casting stat, minimum of your PB (no minimum for half or third casters). Make up your own Spells! A Spell is a catchy name and a sentence description of what it does. When you want to cast one of your Spells, roll Arcana, Religion, or Nature, as appropriate to the Spell. If you succeed, the Spell happens. If you fail, it doesn’t. If you roll a 1, Spell Chaos is unleashed. Every Spell you attempt to cast in a day means a -1 to the d20 roll of the next attempt (thus increasing the chance of a fumble).

THE BITTER COLD

You have disadvantage on Death Saves if you’re outside and not camped out. In addition, if you don’t have a source of heat, you can’t take a rest.

ROOM DC

There will always be a room DC. Each city has one, the wilderness has one, each room in a dungeon has one. Every roll you make will be against that DC. A roll might also be EASY or HARD: an EASY roll subtracts 3 from the room DC, and a HARD roll adds 3.

EXPLORATION RULES

The map is divided into 6-mile chunks called HEXES. In a standard day of exploration, you can take 2 actions. Going into a new HEX takes an action, and investigating the HEX you’re in is an action. You can take more actions than this, but for every additional action, roll CON or take a level of exhaustion. Prices are listed for 15 HEXES worth of supplies.

Cost	Quality	Calm (30%)	Twilight (40%)	Dark (20%)	Storm (10%)
1000s	Fortified	8	10	12	14
500s	Prepared	9	11	13	15
100s	Meager	9	12	14	16
50s	Haggard	10	12	14	17
10s	Barebones	10	12	15	19
0s	Vulnerable	12	14	16	20

STORM EFFECTS (d4): Knock supply down, only take 1 action, CON vs. exhaustion, get lost

WILDERNESS PROCEDURE (Break procedure when necessary)

1 Roll for weather

2 Decide first action

3 Resolve first action

4 Decide second action

5 Resolve second action

6 If more actions, roll CON vs. exhaustion

7 Camp for the night: expend supplies

Using Dungeon World on the DM's Side

    One of the things I love about PbtA systems is how a 2d6 roll has the potential to give out so much information. Especially if you frame it in a Move with a lot of choice built into it (like a "pick 2 out of these 3 options on a 7-9"), you can get a lot of complexity and nuance from this sort of resolution mechanic, as opposed to a more typical arbitrary d20 pass-fail. However, this mechanic is often utilized in a player-facing manner, and I think that's an under-utilization. I could think of many times where I would want to roll 2d6 and instantly get an indicator of how well things are going from the DM's side of things, and while there are some mechanics that emulate this, I wanted to create a body of DM-facing DW-style Moves.

ATTITUDE ROLL (The lowest-hanging fruit)

Monster/NPC Attitude: Roll 2d6 every time the PC's encounter something whose initial disposition is unknown, adding the party's INNOCENCE. On a 6-, it is belligerent and uncooperative, perhaps even hostile. On a 7-9, it is overall neutral, and will respond in kind to how the PCs initially treat it. On a 10+, it begins as inclined to learn more about the PCs, moderately friendly and non-hostile.

DOWNTIME

Downtime: When the PCs want to pursue some downtime activity, have them roll a relevant ability score while you roll 3d6. If they succeed, take the highest 2, and if they fail, take the lowest. On a 10+, choose two, on a 7-9, choose one:

    -You complete what you set out to achieve in full (If not chosen: you only have moderate success)

    -You become well-known and well-loved (If not chosen: you remain as you were)

    -You avoid making any enemies in the process (If not chosen: you anger a rival or group)

A NIGHT'S REST

Resting: When you bunker down for the night, roll 2d6, with a bonus for every person who voluntarily sacrifices the benefits of their rest to keep watch. On a 10+, choose three of the following. On a 7-9, choose 2. On a 6-, choose 1.

    -You remain well-supplied and well-stocked.

    -You gain the healing and resting benefits as normal.

    -Nothing interferes with your rest.

(Side note: This one might have some unintended consequences. Since one of the fail-states is "whoops all your supplies are gone", that changes the risk-reward nature of supplies, and makes it into more of a binary state, well-stocked or in need of new supplies. Why would you bother tracking each ration if they all might vanish all of a sudden for no reason? I'll need to think more about this one.)

EXPLORING

Entering a HEX: When the party enters a new HEX, roll 2d6. On a 10+, the party finds some significant, permanent structure, or something that is of great use to them. On a 7-9, the party finds something that isn't permanent, but is rather significant. On a 6-, the party finds something that is impermanent and not terribly significant, like tracks or a small bevy of monstrous patrols.

(This could also be made into a 2d6 chart per region, which makes for exploration that surprises even the DM, which is nice- also reduces planning. You could really expand on this quite a bit, and I plan on doing that in the future, but for now, I'll leave it like this)

I've got a game in a couple hours, so I'll be starting to use some of these, I'll let you all know how it goes. Happy gaming.