5e monsters made simple

Monsters. Here’s a quick way to do it:

HP = 10*CR

AC, DC = CR + 10

Bonus to all rolls: CR (choose Strong Points and Weak Points, Strong Points double, Weak Points have no bonus)

Damage: (per turn) One Attack (CR*(d6+1)), two Attacks (CRd4+Player PB), three+ Attacks (CRd2 or some shit, I don’t know, figure it out)

Traits: Apply as you see fit. Flight, invisibility, unshakeable will, what have you.

Actions: Make a roll table (probably like a d4 or d6 long, longer than that you’re wasting your time). Mooks roll once, solo monsters roll twice, bosses roll thrice. Not all options need to be Attacks, or hostile.

Break all the rules, break none of them, figure it out. Modify by feel, make your own rules, make your own monsters. Shit, that’s true of the whole damn system.

EXAMPLE:

Pixie, CR 2

SP: DEX, CHA   WP: STR

Flight, flyby (no Retribution for flying)

Actions (roll once):

    1 Zip away. Fly FAR away.

    2 All NEAR roll WIS or fall asleep until you succeed on that WIS roll.

    3 Toothpick Sword. 2d4+2 Physical

    4 Conch. Summon d4 more Pixies that arrive next round.