Friday, August 6, 2021

A Little Salty, a Little Crispy, Would've Been Better With a Pickle on the Side (GLoG class: Gourmand)

 GIGANATOVORE

As part of their ancient curse, giants do not give live birth to giant babies. Instead, they give birth to sickly, fetal creatures which they expose to the will of the elements. Depending on how the fetus dies, it is reborn into a giant form, while those who survive turn into the ever-feared Giant Slayers, boogeymen of the giant mythos. However, a select few of the proto-goliaths meet a different fate, one that involves a dinner plate. What? You were hungry! Start with a belly full of giant fetus, a cookbook for rare meats, a tiger’s eye brooch with matching jabot, and a set of silver cutlery missing the spoon and half the knife.

A The Mutation and the Mask. To conceal the shame of what you’ve done, you’ve manufactured a genial aura that people of high society (or those who like to think they are) are drawn to. In addition, you sprout a random gross Giant Slayer appendage somewhere on your body.

1

Eye

Your eye can see something otherwise invisible, like auras or secrets.

2

Ear

You can make sense of anything you hear, no matter how incomprehensible or inaudible.

3

Mouth

You can imitate any sound through the second, concealed mouth.

4

Arm

You get extra inventory slots equal to your Level.

5

Leg

You can move 10 * Level extra feet each ROUND.

6

Animal part

Specifics depend on which random part of which random animal; limited flight, natural weapons, limited camouflage, etc.

B Fee Fi Fo Fum. Another random Giant Slayer appendage sprouts from your body. In addition, you can literally smell creatures that are larger than you from a mile away.

C A Hunger Unsatisfied. Your body has learned to process organic matter. When you eat a significant part of a living creature in a short span, you gain one of its properties or powers for as long as its meat is in your system.

D Second Birth. The thing inside you, that which they call a Giant Slayer, has finished gestating. You can choose to regurgitate it (getting a fiercely loyal but ravenously hungry mount that needs to eat the equivalent of a stable of horses every tenday) or enter symbiosis with it (you can turn into a Giant Slayer at will, appearing like a chimeric tangle of limbs and eyes and serrated teeth, but if someone who doesn’t know and trust you very well sees you do it, you’ll be executed with haste, because that shit’s freaky).

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SIX ARCHETYPES

As I have been designing a sickening number of mediocre GLoG classes recently, I have found myself falling into strange patterns, patterns I think deserve to be reified. Here are my Six Archetypes: the dimensions by which my future classes will be defined- I have some interesting projects in mind to flesh out and utilize these delineations. No longer will the fruits of my artifice be labelled Fighters or Thieves or Clerics, no. Those days are over. Instead, they will be…

VESSELS, those who get their power through communication with or the channeling of an external force or entity. See the Astrologer and the Primal Exemplar. The archetypal Vessel is the Warlock.

CHAMPIONS, those who get their power through mythopoetic levels of physiological, intellectual, or spiritual mastery. See the Cloudstepper and the Soul Lancer. The archetypal Champion is the Vagabond.

JUSTICIARS, those who get their power from their conviction in or manipulation of some sort of law or code. See the Oathbinder and Low Templar. The archetypal Justiciar is the Paladin.

VIGILANTES, those who get their power from intentionally subverting or defying some sort of law or code. See the Order of the Red Cobble and Pugilist. The archetypal Vigilante is the Balladmonger.

TOTEMISTS, those who get their power primarily through the acquisition and/or use of physical objects. See the Symbiotic Hunter and Groundskeeper. The archetypal Totemist is the Orbseeker.

GOURMANDS, those who got power through imbibing something, typically something magical and once-living. See the Giganatovore, Dragonheart, and Claret Stalker. Yikes, there’s a lot of them. Don’t read into that. The archetypal Gourmand is the Gothique.


Thanks for reading, and happy gaming.

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