Lovecraftian ICRPG Loot + Classes

So has seen Tha'Haar the Mad:

    From hellish womb crawl'd the piscine uncouth

        So churned and froth'd that brackish water

    The warp'd mind forth brings blasphemous truth

        And from the sea comes the unholy father

SANITY RULES

    In the same way you start with a HEART of HP, you start with two EYES of SANITY. An EYE is 10 points of SAN. Between adventures, your EYES refresh just like Hearts. When your SAN reaches certain low threshholds, negative effects start to take hold.

    10 SAN: What's that behind you? No mechanical effects yet, but you're definitely feeling the impact of the horror you've seen.

    9 SAN: You're temporarily rattled. Make your next roll with DISADVANTAGE.

    8 SAN: Truth begins to unravel before your eyes. All rolls to discern reality from falsehood are HARD.

    7 SAN: You're getting in over your head now. You begin to hallucinate, grow paranoid and aggressive, or show other signs of hysteria.

    6 SAN: Madness grips your perception. INT, WIS and CHA rolls are HARD.

    5 SAN: You've undergone terrors from which you will never fully recover. You can't regain SAN.

    4 SAN: You become a tremor-ridden mess. All STATS -1.

    3 SAN: Your flight or flight instinct overrides universally to flight. You cannot make attack rolls.

    2 SAN: Your competency degrades in the face of that which you cannot comprehend. All rolls are HARD.

    1 SAN: Your apathy is overwhelming. You cannot move without assistance.

    0 SAN: Your mind is permanently shattered. You become a vegetable, or a villain under DM control. 

CLASSES

    MOBSTER. "I know a guy who knows a guy."

Address Book. All CHA rolls that deal effort do ULTIMATE, and you have ADVANTAGE on all rolls concerning gang politics.

    CULTIST. "I've seen some weird shit."

Tattered Robes. +1 ARMOR. All rolls to stay sane are EASY.

    INVESTIGATOR. "I've got to get to the bottom of this."

Astrologist's Journal. All rolls to know occult lore are EASY. 

    CIVILIAN. "None of this is real, it all must be a bad dream..."

Lucky Charm. You can choose to reroll 1's on any dice. You have to take the new result.

    BRAWLER. "I don't believe in anything I can't touch. Or punch."

Brass Knuckles. Use STR or DEX for unarmed attacks, and they deal MAGICAL EFFORT.

    MALCONVOKER. "Stand back, who knows what might happen!"

Eldritch Grimoire. Learn 2 INT SPELLS that you don't lose SAN from casting (miscasting still deals SAN damage). You can make new SPELLS.

    DOCTOR. "Hold still, this'll only hurt for a moment."

Industrial Bandage. Rolls to heal or stabilize allies are always EASY, and can be INT, WIS or CHA rolls.

    HARDHEAD. "Eat lead, fishface!"

Hardy Helmet. STR and CON are interchangeable for you.

SPELLS

    *Warp the Flesh. Make a HARD roll to painfully mutate for double SPELL EFFORT.

    Gibber. Roll to reduce someone to gibbering. Deal SPELL EFFORT in SAN.

    Bolt. Cast harmful energy towards a target. Deal SPELL EFFORT in HP.

    Eldritch Armor. +3 ARMOR for d6 rounds.

    *Rebuke. Make a HARD roll to un-summon or frighten a horror.

    Foresight. Touch a target, they add a d4 to all d20 rolls for d6 rounds.

    *Summon Horror. Roll to invoke a nightmare.

    Unveil. Roll to see past illusion or simulacra, or detect duplicity.

    Whisper. Roll CHA to insinuate one request/command.

    *Lore-Scrying. All INT, WIS, and CHA rolls are EASY for d6 rounds.

    *Unbind. Roll INT to remove or destroy LOOT.

    Visions of the Past. Touch something and roll. You know its history.

    Dream Eyes. You can sense magic for d6 rounds.

When you cast a SPELL, take d6 SAN damage. If it's marked with an asterisk, instead take a d12. If you fail on any rolls a SPELL requires, take the damage again.

CTHULHU LOOT

1 Silver Ring. You're never forced to flee.

2 Moldy Muffin. Gain d4 HP.

3 Aged Bourbon. Gain d6 SAN.

4 Abandoned Wallet. 3d10 $.

5 Occult Jewel. Worth 1d10 x 10$.

6 Bolt Cutters. Deal ULTIMATE EFFORT when snipping metal.

7 Fishing rod. All rolls to fish are EASY.

8 Signal Flair. Call for help, or blow 'em up!

9 Ball Bearings. Roll DEX to move without eating shit.

10 Alien Crystal. If you die, return... but not quite right

11 Chemist's Kit. Brewing and alchemy rolls are EASY.

12 Voodoo Doll. Take 5 SAN to ask a question. It will answer truthfully, if not cryptically.

13 Bag of Fingers. Food- take 1d20 SAN to heal 1d12 HP.

14 Skeleton Key. Open one lock.

15 Bombilating Banjo. Make a CHA check. Every point you succeed by is a $ earned.

16 Spell Tattoo. Choose a SPELL. You take HP instead of SAN when you use it.

17 Great Old One Blood. Food- -1 EYE, +2 to one Stat.

18 Truth. Take 2d12 SAN. Say something, and it will be true.

19 Aeloth's Eye. Take 1 SAN to see through this glass eye.

20 Smelling Salts. Ignore 1 point of SAN loss.

21 Shitty Moonshine. Heal d6 HP, but you're drunk. Flammable.

22 Horror in a Box. Deal SAN damage with Weapon Effort.

23 Silencer Mod. Gun damage rolls explode.

24 Antonio's Hat. You both know Antonio, no exceptions.

25 Hypnotist's Ring. Cast Whisper (a SPELL) without losing SAN.

26 Cultist Journal. Learn 3 SPELLS.

27 Brain in a Jar. Succeed on one INT roll.

28 Wrench. If you hit, you can deal a HEART of nonlethal damage.

29 Rigged Dice. Roll with ADVANTAGE, d6 round cooldown.

30 Silver Flask. Always contains holy "water".

31 Mechanical Critter. This automaton pet follows your commands.

32 Grimoire of the Hunt. Deal ULTIMATE EFFORT for damage.

33 Necronomicon. You know all SPELLS, but roll double the dice any time you would lose SAN from casting.

34 Cheap Beer. ADVANTAGE on SAN rolls for d6 rounds.

35 Hungry Parasite. All rolls to gain HP are max.

36 Spectacles of P'Teros. You can read any language.

37 Menacing Aura. Sane people with no business with you cannot bother you.

38 Keys to the Hot Rod. A smuggling vehicle, yours for the taking.

39 Devouring Wand. Take 5 SAN to disintegrate an object, or deal double MAGIC EFFORT damage.

40 Psych Textbook. Expend to regain all SAN.

41 Green Torch. All insane fear the flames. Burs for d6 hours.

42 Gold Bullet. Auto-hit for ULTIMATE EFFORT once.

43 Curved Dagger. Add CHA to damage.

44 Favor. Who owes you what?

45 Extra Tentacle. Hold 3 things simultaneously.

46 Fake Fake Book. Counterfeit and impersonation are EASY.

47 Vendor’s Map. Find anything nonmagical for half $, but it’s out of the way.

48 Eye of the Storm. Take 1 SAN to control the weather.

49 Police Radio. Summon 1d4 cops, but you’ll have to repay them later.

50 Stale Baklava. It’s good stuff! Heal 2d8 HP.

51 Cutpurse Pin. Stealth rolls are EASY.

52 Old Badge. Commandeer vehicles and scare criminals.

53 Phrenology Manual. Gain 1 EYE.

54 Heart Stone Hard Hat. Gain 1 HEART.

55 Pathogen Pills. Negate one disease or poison, d6 doses.

56 Engineer’s Kit. All tech rolls are EASY.

57 Soothing Radio. Reduce all SAN damage by 1.

58 Silk Hanky. Add CHA to INT rolls.

59 Coffin Stake. Stab at what was once human with ULTIMATE effort.

60 Swarm of Bees in a Jar. You can command them.

61 Ringmaster’s Glove. +1 CHA.

62 Crystal Monocle. +1 WIS.

63 Snake Oil Pills. +1 INT.

64 Lucky Shot Glass. +1 CON.

65 Urchin’s Vest. +1 DEX.

66 Oversized Crowbar. +1 STR.

67 Worn Bugle. Makes a good distraction- while playing, all allies remain unnoticed.

68 Trusty Flashlight. All rolls to spot things are EASY.

69 Filthy Novel. Seduction is EASY.

70 Plasmic Symbiote. This creature can morph into anything the size of a cantaloupe or smaller.

71 Codex Anim Cosmis. Know the name and HEARTS of any creature you see.

72 Ruby Shard. Regain 1 HP each round.

73 Silver Crucifix. Attacks from cultists and monsters are HARD.

74 Stethoscope and Syringe. Once, automatically save against death.

75 Emerald Slug. 6 MAGIC EFFORT bullets.

76 Undertaker’s Shovel. A natural 20 instantly kills.

77 Fat Wallet. d6 x 100 $. The owner wants it back...

78 Ivory Broach. Break it while making an oath. The oath will be seen through, or both parties die.

79 Sturdy Coat. +2 ARMOR.

80 Lucky Fez. Roll BASIC EFFORT twice.

81 WW1 Snare. Supernatural entities and veterans of war fear its sound.

82 Broken Police Watch. d4 times, skip the GM’s turn, or halt a timer for a turn.

83 Waterlogged Shoes. Shift into or out of the Drowned City at will.

84 Santa’s Post. Send a letter to Santa. He will reply in his own time.

85 Flying Letter. Express delivery!

86 Monkey Paw. It moves. Roll CHA to make it listen.

87 Bathtub Gin. Cure a condition, but roll CON or take d6 damage.

88 Cooked Fish. Regain d10 HP.

89 Final Word. Point to someone- they will die in 13 days.

90 Chatty Skull. It won’t shut up!

91 Fireplace Poker. Always burning hot. +3 EFFORT.

92 Mobster’s MG. Spray bullets- automatic 1d4 to all targets.

93 Two Dollar Bill. Treat all 1’s you roll as 2’s.

94 Eldritch Acid. Destroy one LOOT.

95 Parasite. -1 EYE.

96 Cursed Ring. When you roll a 1, the specter of the bride returns.

97 Iron Hand. It grips on, -2 STR.

98 Eyes of the Goat. Take a d4 of SAN damage to see into the Drowned City.

99 Mask of Nyarlathotep. +3 CHA as long as you are doing something evil or cruel.

100 Cursed Icosahedron. Take a -1 to all d20 rolls. You can’t get rid of it normally…

Some Requests I Picked Up

     This post comes from Good Job! and Totally-not-a-bot respectively, who ask for a mascot class and mundane professions-as-classes respectively. Here's some more MARROW classes from these prompts! (Copied and pasted from a google doc, I don't know how to make the formatting work good so it's all wonky, so sorry)

STANDARDBEARER

Standardbearer SKILLS: Clothing symbology, encouragement

A A number of times per day equal to your Level, you can shout a rallying cry to an ally as they make a roll. They make the roll with ADVANTAGE, or automatically succeed if they had ADVANTAGE already.

B All allies that are CLOSE to you cannot take STRESS.

C Roll CHA when you rest for the night. If you succeed, you can't be bothered for the evening.

D All allies CLOSE to you have ADVANTAGE on all rolls.

LOOT: Ragged Old Flag

TRAPPER

Trapper SKILLS: Wilderness lore, tracking

A You can spend a TURN making an INT roll to construct a trap that Halts, Damages, Alerts, or Restrain

B Using a rope, you can attempt to tie down a beast through a contested STR roll. You get a +2 for everyone who helps, but any non-Hunters will be knocked prone if the beast wins. The beast continues to be restrained until it succeeds on a contested STR roll.

C You can have up to 5 items On Hand. In addition, traps you lay can do 2 things instead of just one, and you can set one in a Round of comba 

D Make a contested CHA roll against a creature you have restrained by a trap or rope to force them to follow your next command.

LOOT: Beur Trap

HUNTER

Hunter SKILLS:

A You get a bonus to attack rolls against things that can move faster than you equal to your Level.

B Land-dwelling beasts can always understand your words. Roll CHA to make them fear you, too.

    C When you drink the blood of a prey animal, regain WOUNDS equal to your Level.

D You can smell fear. In addition, choose a Quarry once per day. You always know its location relative to you and its emotional state. This effect ends when the creature is dead. You can have your Level in Quarries at a time.

LOOT: Deer Skull Helmet

FARMER

Farmer SKILLS: Agriculture, livestock, folklore

A Used to toil, you cannot take FATIGUE. However, you are afraid of the dark.

B You are unnoticed, just another of the common folk. ADVANTAGE on rolls to blend in or seem unremarkable.

C Once a day, place a seed in the ground or gesture to a mundane animal. The plant grows, or a baby is born.

D You are truly a champion of the people. You are a living legend, a folk hero, and are treated with the utmost respect by the salt of the earth.

LOOT: Diamond Hoe

ARISTOCRAT

Aristocrat SKILLS: Manners, high society

A You are filthy rich. Your money occupies 2 CHA slots, but you can purchase anything you can hold freely, and you can make larger purchases with a CHA roll.

    B You can secure audience with anyone, anywhere, any time.

C You dress opulently. You can add your INNOCENCE to your DEFENSE as long as you wear no more than 1 piece of ARMOR.

    D You can purchase anything for any price with a successful CHA roll.

LOOT: Kerchief of the King

 

ACADEMIC

Academic SKILLS: Academia, one field of your choice

    A Double your PROFICIENCY.

B You’ve written a book. Everyone who would have a passing knowledge in the field knows of you, and holds you in the highest esteem.

C You’re skilled at navigating academic politics. You have ADVANTAGE on CHA checks to convince someone of your point of view.

D You have ADVANTAGE on any rolls that even tangentially relate to your area of expertise. If it makes the DM roll their eyes, you’re doing it right.

LOOT: Provost’s Robe

MERCHANT

Merchant SKILLS: Negotiation, wares-lore

A Choose what wares you sell (pottery, drugs, tools...). Your wares occupy a STR slot. Once a day, you can happen to have a specific item on hand that relates to your wares.

B You can buy anything nonmagical for half its listed price if you succeed on a CHA roll.

C You can smell riches, and always know if you’re near a source of treasure. In addition, you have ADVANTAGE on rolls to find secret doors and hidden compartments.

D You are ludicrously, filthy rich. You have franchises that span continents. Your immeasurable influence, however, makes you quite the target...

LOOT: Silvertongue Coinpurse

STORYTELLER

Storyteller SKILLS: Finding an audience, amiability, street-lore

A When you tell a story, your audience must roll WIS or be enthralled until you complete the telling. A story can take anywhere from 4 ROUNDS to an hour to tell.

B You can tell a story of such beauty and joy that any who hear it must roll WIS or try to repent of their evil deeds.

C You can tell a story of such sorrow and anguish that any who hear it must roll WIS or weep for a d4 TURNS.

D You can tell a story of such power and horror that any who hear it must roll WIS or die.

LOOT: Wanderer’s Mantle

PHILOSOPHER

Philosopher SKILLS: Planar lore, academia

A You can pose unanswerable questions, which force the person being asked to roll INT or be stunned/left spluttering for as many ROUNDS as you spent asking the question.

B You instinctively know what to say to make people angry, and can goad anyone into a fight by rolling opposed CHA.

C Given access to a grand ball, town crier, posting-tree, church door, or other method of disseminating information to the masses, you can thoroughly ruin anyone's reputation.

D Choose a passage from one of your books. It becomes true within your line of sight.

LOOT: Book of Truthful Anachronism

TORTURER

Torturer SKILLS: Inflicting pain, ropes

A If you spend an hour torturing someone, you can ask them a number of questions equal to their Level that they must answer truthfully.

B You can smell pain.

    C When you take WOUNDS, get an equivalent bonus to your next roll.

D With a glance, you can inflict crippling agony. The target takes your Level in WOUNDS, but when you stop looking at them, the WOUNDS go away.

LOOT: Cat of 12 Tails

PLUMBER

Plumber SKILLS: Fluid dynamics and inspection, pipe-lore

A With an hour’s work in safe conditions, flood or un-flood a room. +Level to DEFENSE if you were late to the session.

B Automatically detect broken machinery and concealed mechanisms. ADVANTAGE on rolls to operate or repair them.

C With a day’s work and access to a communal water supply, poison an area. All creatures encountered in the area are sickly and bear plague.

D Spend a day looking for a job. You find a gig that pays 1d4 gold(!) per day. 25% chance this is in a dungeon, which you now have a map to and free passage in and out of on behalf of your employer.

LOOT: Lug Nut of the Sewer King

DRUNK

Drunk SKILLS: Passing as sober, brewing, drink appraisal

A None of your Drunk abilities work while you’re sober, you’ve got to beat least tipsy to reap any benefit. If you share a drink with someone, you have ADVANTAGE on all rolls involving them.

B You may freely convert any alcoholic beverage to any other type of drug you’ve ingested. In addition, you can brew your Level in doses of moonshine per day.

C You may freely convert any drug you have in your possession to any drug you have heard of. In addition, the hoi polloi love you, and you can get free stay in any inn that’s connected to a tavern.

D You can drink any body of liquid in a minute or less.

LOOT: Dented Flagon of Thom the Inebriated

Also, here is the link to my newly-updated full list of classes. It's hovering at around 50, but I have so many more floating in my head that I want to make, actual usability be damned! If you want to steal anything, please do so without hesitation, as I did with so many of the classes in that doc. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ni1_guUwSE3ALDz5-k9Zm0DUwqNJDQs2tS8lkiuDAqQ/edit?usp=sharing

Have fun, and happy gaming.

What people tend to like

    I reached out on the OSR Discord server, asking what types of blog posts people enjoyed seeing. I collected a modest number of results, and here are some of my findings. This post isn't intended as a way to try and get blogs more traffic for its own sake, but with the intent of trying to consolidate what people want so you can make content people will see, find useful, use, spin off of, and all those lovely things. After all, shouting to the void is fun, but shouting with friends is better!

-There's a market for dungeons, puzzles, and their design/construction. No surprise there, as for the vast majority of people, that is the core of their gameplay.

-Monsters are always welcome, as is setting info. In terms f setting info, discrete things on the micro scale seem best. What are the coins like? The meals? The houses? The customs?

-There's always a place for heady game analysis and GM tips. In particular on these fronts, I heard calls for social justice analysis of tropes/monsters and ways to lessen GM prep (which seems oxymoronic to me, "hey, let me spend my time trolling the internet to find a DnD blog to tell me how to spend less time on DnD", but it is as it is)

-Surreal and world-grounded classes that are unique and have tight, elegant mechanics seem to be the most gooderest, but even checking a couple of those buttons should result in a class people love

-People like feedback from playtests, be they your own stuff or someone else's

-I've found that reacting to other posts, building something off another's foundation, or participating in a community challenge gets a lot more traffic, and feels fun to boot

-Worldbuilding, new mechanics, and classes are best combined and conjoined. It's great to have a class that build the world, and a mechanic that insinuates some aspect of the character's realities.

That's what I heard, but I'd love to hear your thoughts! What are your favorite posts to read? Which of your posts have gotten the most traffic, and why is that? Tell me in the comments below!

Empire of the Starstalk Apes

I needed inspiration for a post, so I reached out to my esteemed (non-RPG player) girlfriend. This was her sarcastic response:

 "do it about space monkeys that only eat celery"

An unintentional crucible of genius! From this seed of creative inspiration arises a terrifying stellar threat for any RPG setting.

THE STARSTALK APES

    Long ago, they were but innocent primates, wandering on a virgin world. They feasted on the green stalks waving gently in the electric winds, and they drunk in the air of the red suns above. But war ravaged their land. They retreated to the sunless caves below with emergency rations of celery as atoms rent the air itself in their death throes above the crust of the darkened planet. When they emerged, blind and warlike, into the red suns decades later, their world was ravaged, their only foodstuff decimated besides their dwindling seed-pods.

    A chieftain emerged. Xexycartyl Ripear, named for a shrapnel-damaged ear on the left side, was the first to operate the strange ships that cut into the black stars above, opening the paths into the wider universe. Her death in first Starstalk interstellar conflict was declared a martyrdom, and mystery cults devoted to her resurrection prosper even to this day in the shadows. From her death, the bellicose terraforming empire of the Starstalk Apes emerged.

AN ALTERNATE HISTORY

    The humans sent monkeys to the stars before they ever went themselves. One of the first was thought killed in the detonation of the chamber. While their space suit was rent and they were disfigured on the left side, they were instead sent hurtling to the barren moon, armed only with a seed-packet and the seed of a new generation in her pregnant body.

    The only plant that took to the barren lunar soil was celery. Xexycartyl, as she called herself, the prime mother of the Starstalk Apes, feasted deep, and her children evolved. They turned their eyes to the barren marble of earth and sought to end the lives of their brethren who had marooned them on their haven-prison on the lunar surface.

WAR-TACTICS AND EXPANSIONISM

    The primary goal of the Starstalk Apes is to find new vistas to plant their namesake crops as their population explodes. As such, they occupy sort of a military agricultural ordeal. Their weapons are atmospheric converters that forcefully froth air into the proper ratios for celery growth, massive combines that till and crush the land underfoot, forceful fumigators designed to gas populations and change the chemical balance of the planet itself. When every square inch of a planet is maximized for celery growth, it has been truly conquered.

MONSTERS

    Starstalk Legionary

        The generals, world-killers and diplomats. In their star-cutting, planet-morphing battle cruisers, they indulge in the sorcerous Bluevein Poultice, granting them magical powers. If the hypodermic needles perpetually firing Bluevein into their skulls are damaged, they are pathetically weak, their muscles atrophied from decades of disuse.

    Starstalk Centurion

        The footsoldiers of Starstalk expansion. Safe in warframe-like element-proof spacesuits to maintain perfectly safe during planetary takeovers, some of their main capacities include shooting someone full of hyperfertile seeds to grow under their skin, shooting out potent concentrations of atmospheric gasses, and a good old fashioned harvestin' chainsaw.

    Starstalk Hoplite

        The laborer class. Harvesters, mechanics, priests to Xexycartyl, bureaucrats, tacticians, all the same in the eyes of the Legionnaires ruling above. All rumors of pacification drugs in the Greenstalks are false. Do not investigate or face termination.

    Celeroid

        Putting infected seeds into prisoners of war, rearing the results of mutations caused by caustic vats of celery chemicals, or producing warped abominations by hyperaccelerating celery evolution, Celeroids are mutant fusions of vegetable and animal. The color of the Celeroid and its origins could change its capabilities, but each one is terrifying, given that it is utterly mad and as such terribly unpredictable.

CELERY VARIETIES

    The Apes have made celery growth into a science, developing many strains.

GREENSTALK Fit only for the Hoplite class, the most standard form of the tasteless green vegetable we all tolerate, if not particularly nutritious and well-grown. What pacification chemicals?

REDSTALK For the Centurions, celery augmented with endorphin- and adrenaline-producing hormones to heighten the exertion possible during warfare. Extended exposure is said to cause addiction, overdosing, madness, or worse, and research is currently being done into minimizing the dangerous side affects. After all, a mad monkey in a chimp mech is bad news for everyone.

YELLOWSTALK For relaxing and in downtime, this depressive stalk is injected with chemicals that mellow out any ingester, or in high intensity doses, produce drowsiness. It is the symbol of downtime and recreation, and areas marked in yellow are designated break areas.

PURPLESTALK This celery is said to augment the deductive and perceptive powers of the ingester, as well as heighten their impulsivity and make their behavior erratic. Some tacticians and warriors swear by it, but most Apes fear the negative side effects.

BLUESTALK Entire plants produce only a few handfuls of this incredibly rare strain of celery every year. Bluestalk enhances longevity and grants psionic power to long-term ingesters, and is a symbol of the high class Legionnaires. However, not much is known about it, and selective breeding research is being done into safer varieties and pinning down the effects more precisely. One time, a massive batch was incompatible with life, which was especially problematic when it came alive.

Hey, this stuff might work well as a backdrop for MITHRIL CRUSADES. If you have any more ideas, please throw them in the comments or make your own blog post! I'd love to read what you have to say on this goofy little idea.